25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

We discuss the article 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons by Tabitha Studer which made it into several newspapers so we decided to join in the conversation.  We love the list and think every mom of boys ought to read it and think about their role as mother to a boy (since they are a species we don’t always understand).

Note: Shelly’s son is graduating this week and is speaking at Graduation!  She is a great mom! Congrats Shelly

Mothering Ourselves on Mother’s Day

Dr. Andie discusses the actual roots of Mother’s Day and how we can recapture its essence and have a wonderful day ourselves by taking care of ourselves.  Dr. Andie is the author of More than Saying I Love You.  This show is just what you need to make Mother’s Day great for yourself.

This book is so good, we had to post this podcast again! Enjoy and Happy Mother’s Day

Breaking the Good Mom Myth

Alyson Schafer, psychotherapist and parenting expert, discusses the Good Mom Myth and how we can break it and learn what we really need to do as moms.

Alyson is author of Breaking the Good Mom Myth and Honey I Wrecked the Kids as well as the host of a popular parenting show in Canada.  Check out her site at http://www.alyson.ca/

We found very good advice in Breaking the Good Mom Myth and recommend this book to mothers!  You can find her on Facebook and Twitter too!

(Note: this is a re-run of a former podcast)

Chickadees on Sticks

My mom was one of those women who did not sweat, she glowed. And she never seemed to do that even in 114-degree heat in Las Vegas. So, she never really pushed me into athletics. It wasn’t the lady-like thing and I wasn’t naturally driven to sports. The idea of running appealed to me about as much as getting my teeth drilled at the dentist’s office. I did play a few team sports with my church and I did take a few dance classes (very lady-like). But most of my extracurricular activities were focused on music or theater. I never really saw myself as the athletic type

I didn’t want the same for my daughter. I wanted her to experience the world in all its glory. I wanted her to be an active verb, as George Bernard Shaw said. I especially wanted my daughter to feel the empowerment of her body in action.

Lessons at Sundance have been an integral part of my daughter’s active life. She sees herself as someone who has physical prowess and power. She is active all year around. She participates in a sport that takes guts as well as physical training. She feels her body responding to the challenge. She is an active verb.

But it has done more than get her active—it gets her out of her comfort zone. She feels the aggressive stance needed for skiing and that translates into her everyday life. She can face challenges the way she faces skiing down a black diamond.

It also gives her a chance to bond with other girls who are skiing. She and her best friend take lessons during ski season and it has been a great experience to ski together. Sometimes, I take a group of girls to ski together and they have such a fun time bonding and enjoying the challenge. There is no caddy conversation, no back-biting. The time is filled with encouragement for each other and challenge for each person.

I am lucky enough to be able to take my daughter out of school and have her in ski school during the Sundance Ladies Day that I participate in. Ski lessons are a very educational experience and worth the days she misses at school. We make sure she keeps up with her assignments and tests. But this makes her a more well-rounded person.

Last week, the girls spontaneously made up a song about their wonderful day skiing powder. Take a listen. They are amazingly cute. They are chickadees on sticks!

 

Social Media and College Applications

Admissions offices are now checking your child’s social media accounts when they apply for college.  But before you think of this as a negative, it can actually be a positive.  Right now is the time to create your child’s brand.

According to TeenSafe:
What might be surprising is that you don’t have to rush online to start scrubbing your teenager’s Instagram feed, lest colleges find a trove of pictorial tomfoolery. “The fact is, colleges and employers simply don’t care if they find pictures of you having fun (or too much fun) on the Internet,” say the social media consultants at Social Assurity. “But, increasingly, they do care that the claims on your application reflect the realities of who you truly are.”

Melissa Davis is the CEO of GoEnnounce, which teaches students in grades 7 to 12 the importance of creating a positive digital footprint for college readiness. “Admissions aren’t searching strictly to police students, they are also searching for things that validate and confirm what a student is putting on a college application,” she says.

Make sure that your child’s social media feed includes activities that back up what they put on their admissions form.  And use that space to sell them as a great candidate.

Check out the article on TeenSafe and our discussion for more details.

 

Henry in Australia

Shelly discusses what it was like for Henry to move to Australia as a two-year old.  During this important time in his life, this change could be either very helpful or detrimental.  Shelly discusses how she managed the change to make it a positive experience for him.  For moms in any situation where there is big change, she shares what worked and how she kept the bond with people back home alive.

Cousins

In our society, we underestimate the power cousins have in our children’s life.  The power could come from their presence or their absence.  If you are lucky enough to have great cousin relationships for your children, there are some amazing benefits.  If your children do not have a close relationship with their cousins, we discuss how to create one and why it could be critical for your children in the future.

Shelly Twelve Months to Live

We are so excited to have Shelly back from Australia.  She spent the last 12 months living down under.  Here how her experience changed her family and tips for every family–even those not as fortunate to have twelve months to live in Australia.

What Parents Fear and Need

Claire Lerner, Senior Parenting Strategist, shares the findings of a Zero to Three survey that yielded new insights about the challenges parents face, what they do and do not understand about early childhood development, and what they want and need to be the best parents possible.

One of the most interesting findings in the report is the changing role of the father and how they want to participate more but are not always allowed to by their partners.

Additionally, parents underestimate their child’s development.  Clair discusses things that parents could do better to help their child’s development.

Check out the survey at www.zerotothree.org/parent-survey for more in-depth information on the survey results including videos of parents discussing their concerns and hopes. 

Teaching Kids to Give Back

We talk with Lilly Yeh who started Little Loving Hands in hopes to provide an option for parents to start shifting a focus on teaching kids about empathy and giving back.  Every month, they spotlight a different charity and send out all the materials needed for a child to learn about who they are helping and create a beautiful gift that is sent back to the charity using a pre-paid envelope. To date, kids all over the country have directly helped support sick children, the homeless, and the elderly. 

More information can be found on our website: https://littlelovinghands.com and you can see a little video on how it works here

Imaginary Friends

New research shows that imaginary friends continue longer into childhood than previously thought. Claire Lerner, Senior Parenting Strategist at Zero to Three, discusses why older children may have imaginary friends.  She also discusses what an imaginary friend can do for your child and how you should react when your child tells you that she has an imaginary friend.

Privates are Private

Tricia and Nancy discuss what to do if your child is showing his privates.  How do you handle it and what can you do to help your child understand that Privates are Private?

Here are a few tips:

  1. Don’t freak and if you do, don’t show it.
  2. Figure out what is going on.
  3. Very young kids can seem immodest and may display curiosity about other people’s bodies and bodily functions.  These can include touching women’s breasts, wanting to watch when grownups go to the bathroom, wanting to be naked (even if others are not) and showing or touching private parts while in public. They are curious about their own bodies.
  4. When you are ready and they are ready, ask open-ended questions (and they are old enough to answer)
  • What were you doing?
  • How did you get the idea?
  • How did you learn about this?
  • How did you feel about doing it?
  1. Have a general discussion about what is private and what to do if someone invades your privacy.

Some causes for concern:

  1. Actions beyond their developmental stage (or language)
  2. Actions with threat or aggression
  3. Actions between kids of very different ages

Our Past Show for kids who are a bit older: http://www.themompodcast.com/2010/10/24/when-to-discuss-the-birds-and-bees/

LINK: More Info on Sexual Development and Behavior

 

Everyone Needs Therapy

Nancy and Tricia discuss how therapy can change the way you mother and what therapy has done for them at different stages in their lives.  They discuss finding a good therapist, what to discuss with the therapist and surprises that happen in therapy.

Worried about getting therapy? Today’s therapy is life coaching.  No more Freud and no more laying on the couch.  Therapists give you tools to use in daily life and other ways to look at the situation you are in.  With these tools, you are better-prepared to handle the tough stuff.

Adoption

Beverly discusses the joys and struggles of adoption.  She has adopted babies at birth as well as adopting older children.  She has also adopted in the US and Internationally.  Her experiences will help you decide if adoption is a possibility you should explore.

She gives guidance and tips on how to find an adoption agency and how to make adoption work with your family dynamics.  She also discusses how to know if you are ready to adopt.

Changing the Community

Screen Shot 2016-03-27 at 6.22.24 AMMindy Gleason, a mother not afraid to open her mouth and speak for change, discusses how she is making a difference for children in her community and how you can find the courage to make a change in your neighborhood or city.

Mindy is the mother of two amazing girls.  Her oldest, Presley, has a rare disease causing her to be in a wheelchair and on a ventilator.  Presley is incredibly social and loves to be with her friends. Because of her issues, Presley has a hard time finding parks where she can play.   She is always stopped by wood chips and park barriers.

Mindy was inspired to approach the City of Orem and ask for changes at a local park, but the park idea has gone much further.  Now the City of Orem is building an All-Abilities park where children of all abilities can play together.  Listen to Mindy’s story of triumph and her advice on how to make something happen in your community

static1.squarespace.comLearn more about the All-Together Playground and how you can donate to this amazing cause.

Raise the Child You Got Not the One You Want

Your child is born with inherent attitudes and traits (their CoreSelf).  Nancy Rose, author of Raise the Child You Got Not the One You Want explains how understanding a child’s core traits can help us see our children for who they are and not what we want them to be.  From this position of strength and leadership, we can help direct them to be productive and well-balanced adults.

We discuss how to mitigate conflicts when a parent and child have opposite CoreSelf traits and how to guide behavior when a CoreSelf trait may cause issues.  Finally, we discuss how we can change our language and attitudes about our children’s CoreSelf traits so that we don’t describe their core traits as negative (inflexible vs. consistent; lazy vs. energy conservationist).

Co-host Nancy and her family used the CoreSelf checklist to understand each family member’s CoreSelf traits and this has helped family interactions and has led to better ways to deal with challenging behaviors (in both parents and children).

Check our our previous podcast on Understanding Your Child’s CoreSelf. Download the CoreSelf list for yourself at Nancy Rose’s website (you sign up for her email and the link is sent to you–just know you don’t get spammed or get too much email–I haven’t gotten any additional ones).

If you have older children, it is a great experience to have a family meeting and have each member mark their CoreSelf traits on their own paper and then discuss them together and how these traits help the family or can be improved.

Check out Nancy’s videos on her blog. These explain the 9 traits of the CoreSelf.

Toddlers Establishing Independence

ShellyHenryShelly and Clarie Lerner (our favorite guest from Zero to Three) discuss why Henry is acting up in Australia and how Shelly can reframe the situation to see that Henry is not being defiant.  It isn’t really a Terrible Two thing either.  This is a time with toddlers begin to explore their independence.

Also, Claire and Shelly discuss how the move to Australia could trigger other feelings in Henry.  They also discuss how Shelly’s other kids are adjusting and why Shelly’s oldest child in Australia is experiencing the same feelings that her youngest is experiencing.

Check out more about Claire at Zero to Three.

Read more about Shelly’s adventures in Australia at Seven On Sabbatical.

Note: This show is much longer than our regular shows but packed with amazing information.  We will take next week off for Thanksgiving.  Please give thanks for all the great people in your life!

Becoming a Better Mom By Hearing our Internal Story

We talk with Katie McClain, author, life coach and mother, about what happens when we find out that our parenting tactics and the stories we tell ourselves affect our children and weaken us as parents.  We learn how to parent from our strengths and change our internal stories and our tactics for success.

Learn more about Katie McClain, go to www.katiemcclain.com

Katie’s Book we Love: How to Tame Your Thought Monster
Tame Your Thought Monster Coloring Book
Tame Your Thought Monster App

 

To listen to the Thought Monster show, go to http://www.themompodcast.com/2012/11/11/taming-your-thought-monster/

Baby Signing Essentials–Nancy’s New Book

We discuss Nancy’s new book Baby Signing Essentials and the basics of why you would want to sign with your baby.  If you are out of the baby stage, this book makes a great gift for a friend who is having a baby or has a young child.

Email to Nancy if you want to get a free copy of the book (first 2 emails win).  nancy@babiesandmomsradio.com