Raise the Child You Got Not the One You Want

Your child is born with inherent attitudes and traits (their CoreSelf).  Nancy Rose, author of Raise the Child You Got Not the One You Want explains how understanding a child’s core traits can help us see our children for who they are and not what we want them to be.  From this position of strength and leadership, we can help direct them to be productive and well-balanced adults.

We discuss how to mitigate conflicts when a parent and child have opposite CoreSelf traits and how to guide behavior when a CoreSelf trait may cause issues.  Finally, we discuss how we can change our language and attitudes about our children’s CoreSelf traits so that we don’t describe their core traits as negative (inflexible vs. consistent; lazy vs. energy conservationist).

Co-host Nancy and her family used the CoreSelf checklist to understand each family member’s CoreSelf traits and this has helped family interactions and has led to better ways to deal with challenging behaviors (in both parents and children).

Check our our previous podcast on Understanding Your Child’s CoreSelf. Download the CoreSelf list for yourself at Nancy Rose’s website (you sign up for her email and the link is sent to you–just know you don’t get spammed or get too much email–I haven’t gotten any additional ones).

If you have older children, it is a great experience to have a family meeting and have each member mark their CoreSelf traits on their own paper and then discuss them together and how these traits help the family or can be improved.

Check out Nancy’s videos on her blog. These explain the 9 traits of the CoreSelf.

It Finally Happened

Since I began to ski, my biggest fear hasn’t been tumbling head-long down the mountain.  It has been falling off the lift.  Well, it finally happened after 5 years.  But it wasn’t my fault.

My daughter has a wicked sense of self-preservation.  I guess that’s what kept this 4 pound preemie alive.  We got on to Flathead lift–the small one and I sensed she was nervous so I tried to calm her fears.  I guess I had not done a good job. When we went to get off the lift, she put out both arms in fear.  I did not see her and I tried to stand up.  Next thing I knew, I had landed hard on the packed snow with one knee twisted the wrong way.  UGH!

With some cursing, I got up and asked her what she was thinking.  She just shrugged.  So we skied off.  My bum and my knee hurt a bit but it wasn’t too bad.  The day was not a stellar ski day and conditions were very windy so after 4 runs, we left.

By the time I got home, the adrenaline had worn off.  Coming out of the shower, I almost collapsed when my knee gave way.  To make a painful story short–a strained MCL and a bruised tailbone.  No last Ladies Day class for me.  BUMMER.

But I am going to be back on the mountain at Sundance in a few weeks if I take good care of the knee.  Got my brace on and my smile in tact.  Can’t miss the most EPIC ski season ever. I’ll see you on the mountain!  #sundanceresort #sundancelaidesday #chicksonsticks

 

Can You Hear Me Now that You had a Baby

Did you know that having a baby could ruin your hearing?  It’s not from the screaming child.  Listen and learn how Tricia learned about otosclerosis and how having 4 children helped her to lose hearing in one ear.  And learn how a doctor solved her problem.  Can She Hear Us Now?  Listen and find out!

For more information on otosclerosis, check out this site.  As soon as Tricia meets with her doctor for her follow-up and gets more information about other resources, we will post them here.

 

 

Seeing the Fruits

Today was one of those days when everything comes together. After a week of being sick and having to help a family member having surgery, I was worried that I had nothing left in the tank. But the day dawned beautiful and clear—one of those days that groomer girls love.

So we packed up the car and the kids (my daughter and her best friend) and we headed up to Sundance.   I left my cares back in the valley. My fears about skiing are almost all gone (except thinking about moguls, deep powder, and black diamonds). This is my season to cement the skills I have been gaining over the past few years.

IMG_0647-1Today, I could feel the rails, feel the movement, feel the groove. It felt good. Class, as always, was uplifting and educational. Lisa gave great feedback and it was fun to see the other women progress so quickly. Watching them ski helps me understand the theory I have been learning all these years and why we should not do something (like drop our pole behind us).   I am now reaping the fruits of the seeds planted during previous classes.

And the fruit is tasty. Look at those smiling faces. Can’t you just see what a great time we are having?

And then the day got even better! My dear friend Kristi took my challenge this year and decided to learn to ski. But I haven’t been able to ski a run with her yet. We hooked up and headed up to the first stop to ski together. Then, she introduced me to Margaret, a woman from her Never Ever class.

Margaret, it turns out, learned about Ladies Day from my blog! She had googled ladies ski classes and found my story and a bit of inspiration. WHOO HOO! I’ve had other people tell me that they read the blog and it influenced them to ski but it was so much fun to have my Never Ever Kristi introduce me to Never Ever Margaret who read my blog. And boy could these ladies ski. We didn’t go down the easy front mountain run. No, these ladies took me to a back trail that I have been on several times. It was a bit torn up and challenging but they did great and we had so much fun skiing together!

Thanks Margaret for reminding me why I blog and podcast about Sundance Ladies Day and skiing in general. It’s time to get out and do something that challenges you and gets you moving. Take the chance and you will see the fruits of your labors too! And maybe you will be lucky like I was to be able to share those fruits with amazing ladies. They sure taste better when they are shared together.

#chicksonsticks #sundanceladiesday #sundanceresort

Gaining Confidence in Myself

ChicksOnSticksThis is my fifth year skiing and the snow is incredible.  You know it is Epic when Sundance has more snow than Snowbird.  It really has been amazing.  But that is not the only reason this is an Epic season.  As always, Sundance Ladies Day is incredible.  It is fun to ski with my friends and learn.  But this is the first year I feel confident in my skiing.  I see a huge improvement in my confidence.  I know what I can do and I trust my skis.  Some real learning is happening because I trust myself and my skis this season.

What I am learning is that skiing is 90% in your head and 10% in your body.  OK, I have been told this many times, but I think it is sinking in.  At least a bit.  I’m hard headed it may take more time, but for now, I am beginning to understand that the key to a good ski day is confidence in myself.

Isn’t that the way it is with everything in life?  It’s 90% confidence and 10% ability.  Not to discount ability and a good teacher, but it takes confidence to implement what you learn.   That is where Ladies Day is incredibly helpful.  When I ski with my family, I am worried about my kids, about the mountain, about what my husband thinks of my skiing, and so on.  At Ladies Day, I am not thinking about anyone else but myself.  I can concentrate on my skills, my reactions, and my friends (we laugh all class long and that eliminates a lot of stress too).   I have a chance to try my skills in a controlled environment with a teacher who helps me understand a better way to ski.

This season, our teacher Lisa has helped me with my confidence and has let me know what is going right.  I did not realize how much that would help my skills.   After 5 years of learning, just having someone who is not related to me tell me I am doing things well has really helped.

Today was a wonderful day.  Conditions were just right and so was my attitude.  Each run was fun–even the tougher ones.  This was a great gift because I need confidence.  I can feel the confidence in skiing translating into other areas of my life.  There is something about standing at the edge of a mountain and looking down at it and knowing you can ski it that translates into confidence in other areas.

I can’t wait to strengthen my confidence this season along with my abilities.  Come join us and strengthen your confidence! Chicks on Sticks RULE!

Epic Start to an Epic Season

The year I learned to ski had to be one of the worst snow years on record. I learned on sheer ice. Every lesson, I wondered to myself “Why do people like this so much?” But then, I realized that an entire industry could not be built if the activity was not fun. So I plodded along. The first day of actual powder was like a revelation. I finally understood why people traveled great distances and spent so much money to throw themselves down a mountain.

Well, if that year was the worst snow year on record, this year is the most epic snow year ever. With more snow in one week than in that entire first year, this has been amazing. And that makes learning to ski for the first time so much easier. And it makes learning to ski powder a must.

Chicks2016This year for Ladies Day, I brought a few more Never Evers. One of them, my dear friend Kristi has lived in Utah her whole life and had had one ski experience as a teen. It was one of those “dates” where the young man takes the girl to the top of the mountain and says “I’ll see you at the bottom.” Kristi ended up walking down the mountain and she never went back up (or out with that guy).

After 2 months of convincing her, she finally gave in and came with me to Ladies Day. Today, she had her first experience on skis.   And it was glorious! She loved it so much! Class wasn’t enough. She wanted to ski more and longer. WOOO HOOO! Just the experience I wanted her to have. Check out those smiles!

As for me, this is probably the season I learn to powder ski. Until now, I have been a groomer girl. I love my corduroy groom tracks with a tiny dusting of powder on the top. But the deep stuff has always scared me. Thinking about trying to turn in that powder has made me cringe. The few times I have tried powder have left me wiped out. Today was no different. 12 inches of snow and my first Ladies Day of the season wiped me out. However, I learned a few things:

  • I need to relax in powder and not let it get to my head
  • When you ski powder, you have to ski like you are on a glass table and not press down into it but rather ski on top of it

I’ll get there this season since there is so much powder. This is my year to learn.

The Epic Season is off to an Epic Start. Contact me if you want to ski with us in February or March. It is not too late because with a 60 inch base and counting, this looks to be the best ski season ever.

Our Top Picks

We discuss our top picks for products and stores and more.  Here are the links to the products discussed:

Note: This show was recorded before the holidays.  We did not get it posted.  Sorry that some of the references are pre-Christmas.  The products are still amazing and some of the same deals can be had.

59 inches and Counting

10445499_10153705257567597_4471772102934270553_nThis winter is blessing Sundance. The #prayforsnow campaign is working!  In the past few days, almost 5 feet of snow has fallen.  Ladies–we can’t miss this epic season!  Come and ski with me!

We are going to ski on Thursdays and it will be AMAZING! My first year of skiing, I learned on ice. So if you have ever wanted to learn, this is the year. Don’t let all the snow deter you!  They groom for those of us who are Groomer Girls.  And on Thursdays, we have the mountain to ourselves so no crazy teens to bug us.

And if you wanCECE76758AC204C97ED8648C50AEF1439D3FACCCB845C590D6pimgpsh_fullsize_distrt to learn powder skiing, this is your year.  It is going to be wonderful and when we fall, it won’t hurt!  I may have to purchase some powder skis and a snorkel!

Contact me at nancy@babiesandmomsradio.com and join us!

Flying with Kids: Insider Tips

Pamela Gann, a mom of 2 and former flight attendant discusses tips for flying with children.  She is the author of Flying with Kids: Insider Tips and Tricks from a Flight Attendant Mommy.

We discuss:

  • how to get through Security
  • flying alone
  • car seats on planes
  • packing tips
  • traveling with infants

Pam is a long-time listener.  We loved talking with her!

 

Fears of World Events

With the recent terror attacks abroad and at home, children may feel insecure and fearful.  Nancy and Tricia discuss strategies for helping our children feel safe and how to deal with the onslaught of media discussing the horrors.  Learn how to help children of all ages deal with this including what you as a parent should not do.

Chicks On Stick–Get Ready

TNMW8512 - Version 2If you haven’t check it out yet, I was recently a guest blogger on the Sundance blog. It was an honor to write about our Chicks on Sticks group.  If you live in Utah and have considered skiing or ski but want to up your ski game, consider skiing with us at Sundance Ladies Day. Several of our past skiers are coming back and we have roped several new ladies into our group.

Don’t worry about what level of skier you are.  There are instructors for each level.  If you are a Never Ever (never skied), you will have your own instructor or be in a very small group so you get maximum assistance.  If you are an intermediate skier, you will probably be with me.  And if you are a Black Diamond Babe and want to learn how to shred better, you will be with your own instructor (there are 2-3 Black Diamond Babes who come to Ladies Day each year–they are not in our group but we love watching them ski).

Want to learn more about what Ladies Day is like?  There are several posts on my Sundance Ladies Day page. These posts walk through my evolution from Never Ever to Intermediate. They also document the fun we have together.

This year, we are going to ski on Thursdays in January.  If you can’t ski with us, there are other classes in February and March.  However, this year, Sundance will only have classes on Thursdays.  We need to get more ladies out there skiing and help the program grow. I am pretty sure our group makes up a large percentage of the participants.

Interested in learning more? Contact me directly at nancy@babiesandmomsradio.com and I’ll let you know how to join Chicks on Sticks.

Hope to see you on the slopes!

Nancy

#prayforsnow #sundance resort

Chicks on Sticks–Join Us!

KipperNancyUber ski instructor Kipper Warren Cluff explains Sundance Ladies Day to Tricia and why skiing is an excellent option for women–even those who have had a bad experience in the past or don’t like cold.

Long time listeners know that Nancy took on the challenge 4 years ago and you can read about her exploits on her Sundance Ladies Day page.  But in this podcast, Tricia talks to Kipper and decides if skiing is right for her.   Once she joins us, she will be a member of our group called Chicks on Sticks.

Don’t be deterred from listening if you don’t live in Utah or you think you will never ski because you live in the Bahamas.  There are lots of lessons to learn about taking on a challenge that is both physical and mental.  Maybe you want to run a marathon and this will inspire you.  I don’t know why you would ever want to run a marathon, but you  may be thinking that I am crazy for throwing myself down a mountain on sticks.

Interested in learning more? Contact me directly at nancy@babiesandmomsradio.com and I’ll let you know how to join Chicks on Sticks.  You can also read my recent guest blog post on the Sundance blog. If you live in another state, look for a ladies program at your local resort.  If all else fails, take a lesson.  It really makes all the difference and will get you enjoying both a mental and physical challenge (mostly mental) that will invigorate the long winter months.

See me getting my Bearclaw pin from Kipper?  They usually give the pin to little kids when they learn to ski the mountain, so Kipper thought it was appropriate for me.  I treasure that pin and the friendships I have made on the mountain.   CHICKS ON STICKS RULE!

#prayforsnow
#sundanceresort

Toddlers Establishing Independence

ShellyHenryShelly and Clarie Lerner (our favorite guest from Zero to Three) discuss why Henry is acting up in Australia and how Shelly can reframe the situation to see that Henry is not being defiant.  It isn’t really a Terrible Two thing either.  This is a time with toddlers begin to explore their independence.

Also, Claire and Shelly discuss how the move to Australia could trigger other feelings in Henry.  They also discuss how Shelly’s other kids are adjusting and why Shelly’s oldest child in Australia is experiencing the same feelings that her youngest is experiencing.

Check out more about Claire at Zero to Three.

Read more about Shelly’s adventures in Australia at Seven On Sabbatical.

Note: This show is much longer than our regular shows but packed with amazing information.  We will take next week off for Thanksgiving.  Please give thanks for all the great people in your life!

The First Snow–Think about Skiing

LadiesDay3Ok Ladies.  The first snow has fallen.  WHOO HOO!  That means you should be thinking about skiing with us.  We are gathering our 2016 Sundance Ladies Day group.  We have some women returning from last year and several new ones who haven’t skied with us before.  So far, we have 15 ladies skiing with us.  If you want to know more about the experience, check out the posts below.

Here is the bottom line:  We have tons of fun, learn a bunch of stuff and we claim our power!  Nothing feels quite like flying down a mountain at 15-30 miles an hour and knowing you have control.   And we show our kids that we ARE cool.  Classes are organized based on ability levels, Beginner to Advanced so don’t worry if you feel like you can’t keep up because you can.  We are all growing in our abilities.

The Details: Ladies Day Specialty Clinics are held Tuesdays or Thursdays from 10am-12:30pm.  I have organized a 20% discount for our group.  So reach out to me and let me know you want to ski with us.  I am skiing on Tuesdays in January and hope you will too but I know some of you have to ski on Thursdays or have to take a class in February or March.  Check out details at Sundance Ladies Day.

One More Thing: At the same time, Sundance has a special class for the kids of the Ladies Day participants.  I take my kids out of school because it is an amazing opportunity for them to learn.  My kids have friends they ski with and we also go as a family.

Let’s go have some fun!

Check out my post as a guest blogger for Sundance! #sundanceresort

Last Year’s Fun:

 

Becoming a Better Mom By Hearing our Internal Story

We talk with Katie McClain, author, life coach and mother, about what happens when we find out that our parenting tactics and the stories we tell ourselves affect our children and weaken us as parents.  We learn how to parent from our strengths and change our internal stories and our tactics for success.

Learn more about Katie McClain, go to www.katiemcclain.com

Katie’s Book we Love: How to Tame Your Thought Monster
Tame Your Thought Monster Coloring Book
Tame Your Thought Monster App

 

To listen to the Thought Monster show, go to http://www.themompodcast.com/2012/11/11/taming-your-thought-monster/

Baby Signing Essentials–Nancy’s New Book

We discuss Nancy’s new book Baby Signing Essentials and the basics of why you would want to sign with your baby.  If you are out of the baby stage, this book makes a great gift for a friend who is having a baby or has a young child.

Email to Nancy if you want to get a free copy of the book (first 2 emails win).  nancy@babiesandmomsradio.com

 

Understanding Your Child’s CoreSelf

We think our job is a parent is to raise a child who is a success and that we have the experience to see what their potential is and how to mold them into the best adult possible. We feel that we need to create the right situations and encourage or kids to be the best they can be and anything less is not good enough. And most kids want to please us so we can really influence our kids. BUT IS THAT REALLY SUCCESS as a parent?

Author Nancy Rose writes that there are two parts to parenting from Acceptance:

  • Who your child is and the parts you cannot change (She calls this the CoreSelf)
  • What your child does and the things you can and must influence (your child’s behavior)

Tricia and Nancy discuss how understanding your child’s CoreSelf can lead you to be a better parent to the child you have instead of the potential child you want. Check out the CoreSelf list for yourself at Nancy Rose’s website (you sign up for her email and the link is sent to you–just know you don’t get spammed or get too much email–I haven’t gotten any additional ones).

Quotes from today’s show:

Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label.  Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds.  You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom. – Anonymous

Acceptance is like the fertile soil that permits a tiny seed to develop into the lovely flower it is capable of becoming. The soil only enables the seed to become the flower. It releases the capacity of the seed to grow, but the capacity is entirely within the seed. As with the seed, a child contains entirely within his organism the capacity to develop. Acceptance is like the soil-it merely enables the child to actualize his potential.–Thomas Gordon

Check out our Second Podcast featuring Nancy Rose:  Raise the Child You Got Not the One you Want.

Avoiding Toxic Relationships

Jordin Corlett, founder of Boundaries of Love, discusses the warning signs of toxic relationships and how to avoid them.  We also discuss how to talk to your young adult children about toxic relationships.  Even if you are in a great relationship, this discussion helps you prepare for the discussion you might have to have with a child or friend.